Politics

Capitalism's shite man! Those bastards are making money out of us ordinary folk! Personally, right, I think it's disgusting and it's our job to stop it. So every May Day we get out there on the streets of London to make our views known on this and a variety of other subjects! You know, when I think about it for a bit, there's quite a lot of stuff I don't like - capitalism, fascism, communism, democracy, taxation, wealth, poverty, the police, crime, politicians, our celebrity-idolising youth culture, most other people, intolerance. I really fucking hate intolerance!

So when it's May Day you can count on us to be out there protesting about all of these things and more! We enunciate our protests in the only language these people understand - mindless violence! You know, it's a good job we do it on a bank holiday because I wouldn't want to have to take the day off work! I mean, time is money, man!

Last year Captain Dave suggested we stay in Camden and smash up our own shop, but I told him that was a bit stupid. I told him, we're against the system, and we're not part of it! But the others are! That's what we're against! I mean, yeah, OK, one day we might be successful, but that doesn't mean McDonald's has any right to be! We're a small business and if we make a lot of money that's because of our own hard graft, selling bongs and doing dodgey under-counter deals in all kinds of substances! Not like McDonalds, they just got where they are today enticing the public by selling them things they wanted to buy! They're a bad company anyway - their products are all really bad for you!

Back to the index