Channel 23

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THURSDAY'S TV

7.00am	GET UP! The lively breakfast entertainment show.
9.00am	The Shite Stuff Cheeky morning discussion show chaired by Matthew Shite. Vote in today's phone poll: "Are TV phone polls a waste of time?"
11.30am	Are You Being Seen To? Classic sitcom which gave the nation such catchphrases as "Oooh, you're not half gay!" and "Fetch me a feather duster, duckie!". In this hilarious episode, the team go camping. Painfully obvious jokes abound.
12.00am	Changing Tombs Historical gameshow in which two contestants redesign the last resting places of the Pharaohs of Egypt in order to give them a more modern feel.
1.00pm	Sunset Bleach Imported soap opera from the USA, filmed on a budget of £3. In today's exciting episode, Martha goes shopping, while Jim is scared by a spider in the toilet.
1.30pm	Tomorrow's Weird Science and Technology programme. In the future, we'll all live in houses made from titanium and project a hologram of ourselves to work, while our real bodies waste away on sofas watching 3D shopping channels on TV. It will be great!
2.00pm	Dungheap Challenge Two teams battle against time and each other in the race to build a fully-working Scud Missile out of horse manure.
4.00pm	DOC WON NUT Letter-rearranging gameshow presented by RIDE WHIRLY CHEAT and CRAVE LARD, MORON.
4.30pm	Children's 23 Little Silly Denzil Surreal children's programme made in 1967. Supposedly the creators of this programme were high on drugs throughout making it, although today they deny all memory of ever working on the show. In this episode, Little Silly Denzil takes his dog Canine Abyss to see Dell Err about his problems growing the crop Cow Cane on his fields. But a large strawberry-flavoured platypus sprinkles a fine white powder over the little town of Pirtdica, making everybody really really hungry.
5.00pm	Children's 23 Strange Hill Fourth of the week's episodes set in a school that deals with controversial, tough issues. In this episode, Dr. Clark faces accusations that he is spiking school meals with anthrax for scientific research, and Jenkins has his grenade launcher confiscated.
5.30pm	Clumsy Street Australian Soap set in a street full of cack-handed people. In this episode, Dan loses an eye in an incident involving a biro, while Kay accidentally has sex with Bill.
6.00pm	A Party Political Broadcast by the Space Filler Party The Space Filler Party is devoted to filling those annoying gaps in spoof TV schedules.
6.30pm	Party Political Broadcast Extra Davina McCall goes behind the scenes of the previous party political broadcast to ask impertinent questions and comfort those who are crying.
7.00pm	Nude News The regular naked update, including Weird Weather at 7.25pm. Click here to visit the Nude News page
7.30pm	BeastEnders
8.00pm	UK's Worst Watchdog From Hell A programme about Nicky Campbell. We hear how angry members of the public get when watching programmes that feature him: "We'd just bought a new television and I switched it on, and there he was - I just couldn't contain my anger at how much of a smug bastard he was, so I kicked the telly out the window. I've phoned the BBC up twelve times to try and get some money out of them but they keep telling me to fuck off".
9.00pm	McEnroe Undercover Series in which ex-tennis player John McEnroe goes undercover to investigate tough issues. Wearing a very convincing wig, McEnroe manages to infiltrate a meeting of the Women's Institute. Despite his best efforts to remain calm throughout, he loses his temper when told his cakes haven't risen as well as they could have.
10.00pm	Newsfight Jeremy Paxman gets into a fight with a politician.
10.30pm	It's Only Have I Got A Question of They Think It's News All Over The Buzzcocks Now But I Like It Panel game show.
11.00pm	Scrotum Fly-in-the-pants documentary about a day in the life of a scrotum.
11.30pm	English Expression Fly-in-the-ointment documentary about a day in the life of a typical English expression.
12.00am	Beach Sand-in-the-sandwiches documentary about a day in the life of a beach.
12.30am	TV Scheduler Smack-in-the-face documentary about the antics of a bored TV scheduler.
1.00am	Close Even the TV Scheduler gets bored.

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