| 7.00am |
GET UP!
The lively breakfast entertainment show. |
| 9.00am |
The Shite Stuff
Cheeky morning discussion show chaired by Matthew Shite.
Vote in today's phone poll: "Are
TV phone polls a waste of time?" |
| 11.30am |
Are You Being Seen To?
Classic sitcom which gave the nation such catchphrases as "Oooh, you're not half gay!" and
"Fetch me a feather duster, duckie!". In this hilarious episode, the team go camping. Painfully obvious jokes
abound. |
| 12.00am |
Changing Tombs
Historical gameshow in which two contestants redesign the last resting places of the Pharaohs of Egypt
in order to give them a more modern feel. |
| 1.00pm |
Sunset Bleach
Imported soap opera from the USA, filmed on a
budget of £3.
In
today's exciting episode, Martha goes shopping, while
Jim is scared by a spider in the toilet.
|
| 1.30pm |
Tomorrow's Weird
Science and Technology programme. In the future, we'll all live in houses made from titanium
and project a hologram of ourselves to work, while our real bodies waste away on sofas watching
3D shopping channels on TV. It will be great! |
| 2.00pm |
Dungheap Challenge
Two teams battle against time and each other in the race to build a fully-working Scud Missile out
of horse manure. |
| 4.00pm |
DOC WON NUT
Letter-rearranging gameshow presented by RIDE WHIRLY CHEAT and CRAVE LARD, MORON. |
| 4.30pm |
Children's 23 Little Silly Denzil
Surreal children's programme made in 1967. Supposedly the creators of this programme were high
on drugs throughout making it, although today they deny all memory of ever working on the show. In
this episode, Little Silly Denzil takes his dog Canine Abyss to see Dell Err about his problems
growing the crop Cow Cane on his fields. But a large strawberry-flavoured platypus sprinkles a fine
white powder over the little town of Pirtdica, making everybody really really hungry. |
| 5.00pm |
Children's 23 Strange Hill
Fourth of the week's episodes set in a school that deals with controversial, tough issues.
In this episode, Dr. Clark faces accusations that he is spiking school meals with anthrax
for scientific research, and Jenkins has his grenade launcher confiscated. |
| 5.30pm |
Clumsy Street
Australian Soap set in a street full of cack-handed people. In this episode, Dan loses an eye
in an incident involving a biro, while Kay accidentally has sex with Bill. |
| 6.00pm |
A Party Political Broadcast by the Space Filler Party
The Space Filler Party is devoted to filling those annoying gaps in spoof TV schedules. |
| 6.30pm |
Party Political Broadcast Extra
Davina McCall goes behind the scenes of the previous party political broadcast to ask
impertinent questions and comfort those who are crying. |
| 7.00pm |
Nude News
The regular naked update, including Weird Weather at 7.25pm.
Click here to visit the Nude News page |
| 7.30pm |
BeastEnders |
| 8.00pm |
UK's Worst Watchdog From Hell
A programme about Nicky Campbell. We hear how angry members of the public get when
watching programmes that feature him: "We'd just bought a new television and I switched it
on, and there he was - I just couldn't contain my anger at how much of a smug bastard he
was, so I kicked the telly out the window. I've phoned the BBC up twelve times to try and
get some money out of them but they keep telling me to fuck off". |
| 9.00pm |
McEnroe Undercover
Series in which ex-tennis player John McEnroe goes undercover to investigate
tough issues. Wearing a very convincing wig, McEnroe manages to infiltrate
a meeting of the Women's Institute. Despite his best efforts to remain calm
throughout, he loses his temper when told his cakes haven't risen as well as they
could have. |
| 10.00pm |
Newsfight
Jeremy Paxman gets into a fight with a politician. |
| 10.30pm |
It's Only Have I Got A Question of They Think It's News All Over The Buzzcocks Now But I Like It
Panel game show. |
| 11.00pm |
Scrotum
Fly-in-the-pants documentary about a day in the
life of a scrotum. |
| 11.30pm |
English Expression
Fly-in-the-ointment documentary about a day in
the life of a typical English expression. |
| 12.00am |
Beach
Sand-in-the-sandwiches documentary about a day
in the life of a beach. |
| 12.30am |
TV Scheduler
Smack-in-the-face documentary about the antics
of a bored TV scheduler. |
| 1.00am |
Close
Even the TV Scheduler gets bored. |