| 9.00am |
Celebrity Express
A day full of entertainment as Simon Fuller and Pete Waterman look for the international megastars
of tomorrow - literally! All over the UK, young hopefuls are auditioning to become an overnight
celebrity by recording a hit single this evening that will be on sale in the shops tomorrow, and
will certainly reach number 1 in the charts next Sunday, because of the way the music charts reflect
the genuine talent and commitment of the artist to his or her music. To sign up call 0800 858 858 -
all your hard minutes of work could pay off, and people in the street might even still remember
your face this time next month! Andy Warhol said that in the future everybody will be famous for
fifteen minutes. And if you win, you'll be well on your way to that target! |
| 6.00pm |
Songs of Kray's
Special edition of Songs of Praise featuring the hymns of Reggie Kray,
live from the East End. Hymns to include God Bludgeon Ye Merry Gentlemen,
All Things Bright and Lying in a Pool of Their Own Blood and O Kneecap All Ye Faithful.
Plus Sir Elton John performs Silent Night ('s Alright For Fighting). |
| 7.00pm |
Songs of Crazed
In a bid to foster ethnic diversity on Channel 23, we present an hour of brainwashed
chants from hard-line right-wing fundamentalist representatives from all the world's
accepted and respected religions, in the hope that none of them feel the need to
fly an aeroplane into our headquarters. Plus Hare Krishnas! What a crazy bunch
of hippy freaks! |
| 8.00pm |
Bar Mitzvah
Documentary about London's new Jewish nightclub. |
| 8.30pm |
Sci-Fi Night
Channel 23 brings you an evening of the most boring,
cheap programmes on telly! Kicking off with the first in a Star-Trek
sextuple-bill:
Star Trek: The Generation After The Generation After Next
|
| 9.00pm |
Sci-Fi Night
Star Trek: Deep Boredom 12 |
| 9.30pm |
Sci-Fi Night
Star Trek: Vaguer
This is a rare pilot for a TV series that was,
sadly, never commissioned. Bored with making up technical
terms and galaxy names, the writers descended into
silliness.
In this
episode, What's-her-name discovers a Thingy underneath
the Wotsit, which means Something could happen to That-Bloke-With-The-Funny-Forehead
unless Some Woman acts quickly to prevent the Thingy from
turning into Something Else, but unfortunately That Alien
has other ideas.
|
| 10.00pm |
Sci-Fi Night
Star Trek: Retro
The new series of Star Trek that is set closer to the present day. |
| 10.30pm |
Sci-Fi Night
Star Crawl
The new series of Star Trek that is set on the Pioneer 10 probe, due to reach Earth's nearest
star in fifteen million years. |
| 11.00pm |
Sci-Fi Night
Sea Trek
The new series of Star Trek that is set in the year 1580 AD. |
| 11.30pm |
Sci-Fi Night
An ironic look back at... Foreheads
Carol Vorderman presents the first in an occasional series of ironic
reminiscences about the near past. In this Sci-Fi Night edition, we take
a look at sci-fi alien foreheads from the late 19th century to the present day,
and get Stuart Maconie to make witty remarks. "I had a mate at school who had a
forehead like that!" he laughs.
|
| 12.00midnight |
Close |